Topology : Part Two - Basics

BASICS

Safety

Being a top in male intercourse is very pleasurable and rewarding. It is also a role that requires consideration and sensitivity. You should regard being a top as a position of great responsibility.

The potential for mutual pleasure and satisfaction is boundless; physically, emotionally and spiritually. There is also potential for harm, however. A good top is a careful top! Until medical science makes a significant stride forward, human beings will always be the potential victims of sexually-transmitted infections. At best they can be annoying, like the non-specific infections that cause minor irritation. At worst, they can be fatal, such as hepatitis and HIV. If you're not prepared to be a responsible, adult man and use a condom every time you make love to a guy, you don't deserve the honour of even touching his butt!

It is important to use the right amount of (water-based) lubricant; this should be smeared all over your condom-covered cock and part way into the bottom's anus before you start. During intercourse it is important to check that the lube does not dry out too quickly; if it does ( usually the bottom will know because he'll be getting a bit 'raw'!) chuck on some more. If you fuck vigorously for a long time it is a good idea to change the condom. Some guys like to fuck, then rest for a while, then fuck again more than once before finishing. The condom will be getting gradually worn and stretched so have a few spares handy.

When you finish, don't pull out too quickly or the condom may come off while still inside the bottom. Reach down and hold the condom in place as you withdraw.

Know The Butt

Anal intercourse is not inherently harmful, but if done carelessly it can cause pain and possibly even injury, so it is important to proceed with care.

It helps to know a bit about the target area - bum, bottom, butt, ass, arse, khyber, posterior, derriere, etc. The part of the bum usually most visible is the buttocks, or gluteus maximus (buns, buttcheeks, etc.), the muscles that straighten the upper legs. In most people the buttocks are not particularly sensitive, though very light stimulation such as gentle carresses, or very intense stimulation such as spanking, can be pleasurable. The bum has been widely renowned as an erotic part of the body, and has been the focus of sexual attention in many cultures.

The anus (asshole, hoop, etc.) is an opening that is surrounded by a ring of muscle (the external sphincter) which relaxes to open and tightens to close. This muscle, which can be consciously tightened (clenched), also constricts the urethra, the tube within the penis through which urine and semen passes, and during orgasm it tightens and relaxes spasmodically. Directly beyond this is a second ring of muscle (the internal sphincter) which is not under conscious control. It only relaxes when pressure is exerted on it. The anus contains many nerve endings and is therefore very sensitive to stimulation; an erogenous zone overlooked by many people.

Prostate

The anus is roughly two inches long, and beyond this is the rectum, which is roughly six inches long. The rectum contains fewer nerve endings. Stimulation of the anus can produce pleasure or pain, but the rectum can only sense pressure.

Located in front of the rectum is the prostate gland, which produces secretions for seminal fluid. In some men, stimulation of the prostate is pleasurable, leading to it being branded the 'male G-spot'.

The anus, sphincters and prostate are all part of a densely intricate group of structures that includes the root of the penis, so it is not surprising that they play a part in sexual pleasure.

The anus can relax and dilate several centimetres (as it does when waste passes out), so a little stretching of the muscles is not only harmless, but totally normal and commonplace. The rectum is a cavity that does not need to stretch; at its far end it curves and is closed by another muscle, beyond which is the colon and the rest of the large intestine.

Care

Penetration of the anus and rectum is not something most people will be familiar with, and so it will feel unusual and probably uncomfortable the first time. If you penetrate a man too quickly straight away it will hurt him. The anal muscle will relax and stretch but it will take at least a few seconds, even for an experienced bottom. If it is the bottom's first time it will take at least several minutes. Once intercourse has begun, he can be usually be re-penetrated painlessly during the session (though with many men this is not true once he has cum.)

A virgin bottom may take a long time getting used to the feel of having a cock in him. Sometimes, however, he may be over-excited by the pleasurable sensations and the 'heat of the moment' and be insensitive to pain. It is possible to damage the anus during fucking if penetration is too quick and rough and the muscle does not relax quickly enough. If there is a tear in the skin of the anus there may be some blood, though usually he will not notice until later when he bleeds and/or feels pain when going to the toilet. This will normally heal given a few days abstinence as the tear is usually quite small; obviously if the bleeding or pain is great then medical assistance should be sought. Considering all of this, it may be a good idea not to get TOO passionate with a virgin; certainly try to slow down a bit when withdrawing and re-penetrating.

The main thing to remember is to start slow and gentle, to give his body time to adjust to yours, before you get too vigorous.

Some guys are more sensitive than others. Some may also have a sensitivity to the condoms and lube; if this seems to be the case then there are alternative brands available (see Sensitive Butts.)

Consideration

The bottom's feelings should be very important to you. Even if you're a cold, heartless scoundrel it's still in your best interests to give him a good time if you want him to come back for more! Generally speaking, the more pleasure you give him, the greater your satisfaction will be (and not just in terms of physical gratification).

Communication

You should both have a full understanding of what you want to happen. Communication is ESSENTIAL for good sex! Talk about what he wants. Listen to what he has to say. Make sure he is happy about being fucked and that his judgement is not impaired by drugs or alcohol so that he might be agreeing to something that he wouldn't normally feel comfortable about. This is a matter for your own conscience. The situation may be even less clear; for instance if you are giving him a place to stay for the night and he feels he owes you a favour by letting you fuck him. He has to really want it and really be ready; otherwise there may be resentment (and remorse, maybe?) later.

Relaxation

An experienced bottom can be fucked at a moment's notice, but a beginner will need to feel ready. Ideally he should be relaxed, physically and mentally. If you're the host it's your responsibility to set the scene: a comfortable room where you will not be disturbed or distracted for a long time. Whatever makes him feel relaxed will put him in the right frame of mind which is essential.

The main goal, from a purely mechanical point of view, is to help his anal muscle relax. Any kind of anxiety will make this more difficult, so he must start to wind down long before the main event. Slow down and take your time. A drink or two may help here, but not too many! It's ethically questionable to fuck someone who is so inebriated he doesn't know what's happening, and the consequences could be very serious; you might even be accused of rape. So be sensible.

Stimulation

The more turned-on the bottom is, the easier it will be for him to be penetrated. Pleasurable stimulation is also relaxing. Foreplay, therefore, is more than just a good idea; it's indispensable. Make him feel good - it's your job!

Sensual massage is a great way to simultaneously relax and stimulate a person. It is also good because it focusses on the whole body; this helps to gradually build the bottom's pleasure and excitement. Start with the upper body before moving onto the legs and then the buttocks, kneading them gently. You can progress slowly from general massage to stimulating his erogenous zones using your fingers and lips: his neck, earlobes, sides, thighs, nipples, balls and cock. Rimming is usually very pleasurable for the bottom; it also helps him to focus on the pleasure his anus can receive. The aroma of a clean male anus is a musk that many tops find stimulating.

Penetration

For a virgin bottom, a recommended position is the “passive superior” position – the top guy lies on his back and the bottom guy straddles him, gradually lowering himself onto the cock. This gives the bottom guy almost complete control over the penetration, so he takes it at his own pace. If he is not comfortable with this, though, you will have to take control in a different position. Some guys find it easier lying on their side.

Using water-based lubricant (ensure any massage oil has been towelled away from the butt), use the tip of your middle finger to gently play with his hole; very small circular motions to gently work the lube into the sensitive flesh. After a minute or so slowly push a little way inside. If he feels any discomfort at this point slow down and withdraw a little. Stimulate him somewhere else on his body; it is difficult to focus on pain and pleasure at the same time and it will help him to relax while his muscle gradually stretches. Use your mouth on his balls, nipples, cock... passionate kissing can have the same effect, of course! You might also suggest he starts to wank himself to increase his pleasure.

When he can comfortably take your whole finger leave it there for a while and continue to pleasure him in another way. After a minute or so SLOWLY insert a second finger along with the first, then leave them inside, moving gently. When he can take both for a few minutes he should be ready for your cock.

Resistance

Once the condom is in place and lubed, enter him slowly. The slowest possible penetration will be the easiest. Put your cockhead up against his hole and push just enough so that you can feel resistance, then hold position. Don't push any further yet; just maintain the minimum pressure and, after about a minute, you will feel the hole gradually stretch itself for you against the tip of your cock.

Push in slowly until your cockhead is fully engulfed. If the head of your cock is wider than the shaft the anus will tighten around the rim at this point, which feels delicious! The bottom may feel some discomfort at this point, though, so take it easy. The crucial thing here is for the bottom to get used to the feel of your cock going into him, so don't pull out unless he asks you to. Push in slowly until you are fully inserted. Then stay there, moving very slightly.

If the bottom is hurting and asks you to take it out, pull out up until the point where your cocktip is just 'nudging' his hole. When he's ready, start again slowly.

Sensations

Once he's comfortable with you fully inserted, you can start to fuck. Start off slowly and gently at first; he needs to get used to this too. He should be getting very stimulated by this point and look and sound very excited, though in some cases he may not have an erection. This does NOT mean he isn't enjoying himself; sometimes a man will lose his erection when being fucked because he is so focussed on the sensations in his butt.

The bottom guy's endurance - how long he can be fucked for - will vary. Some guys can take it for just a few minutes before becoming uncomfortable or sore, others seemingly have 'unlimited capacity' ("insatiable"? Though they seem to get their satisfaction!). This is an individual quality and there is no 'normal' level of bottom endurance.

Other factors that will effect this are poor lubrication, position (some guys will find some positions more comfortable than others) and discomfort from a too full stomach or bladder. Sometimes a fuck will put some pressure on the bladder and the guy might have to stop for a toilet break. This could be either because your cock is prodding it, and/or because of the motion (like the effect of vibrations from riding in a car has on some people's bladders!).

Keep track of his responses to try to see how much he is enjoying the fuck. This won't always be easy; moans/cries of pleasure can sometimes be very similar to those of discomfort. The same goes for facial expressions. Also, for some guys, the line between pleasure and pain when being fucked can be very fine - it hurts him a bit ... but he stil likes it.

Climax

There are four ways a fuck can end for the bottom: the bottom wanks himself until he cums; the top wanks him until he comes; the bottom comes without being wanked; he does not cum at all. All of these can occur while you are still fucking, when you have cum and stopped and are still inside him, when you have cum but carry on fucking, or when you have finished and pulled out.

In the majority of cases it will be the first option, usually when the bottom cannot take anymore pleasure and can hold back no longer. For the top to wank the bottom (while fucking him or while still inside him after the top has cum) is less common though the appeal is obvious. Some men can cum from the friction of being fucked face-down as the cock is rubbed against the bed; others can cum from nothing but the sensations of the fuck itself (this is a REAL compliment to the top, or at least it feels that way!).

Some guys also have 'dry' or 'internal' orgasms - the sensation of cumming but without ejaculation. This can happen more than once during a fuck, making it a kind of male multiple orgasm.

Bottom Erection

A man who loses his erection while being fucked may get it back near the end, or may not. To some this may seem frustrating, but some men are better able to concentrate on wanking without being fucked at the same time; for them the fucking is almost like foreplay. For some bottoms an orgasm is not important, at least not at the time.

Some people make a big deal out of timing. Synchronised orgasms can be very satisfying but they are not essential. The advantages are that if the bottom cums first he may then become aware of how sore he is before you can reach your climax, and ask you to stop (which can obviously be frustrating), and if you cum first you might go soft before he reaches his (which might be disappointing for him if he likes to feel a hard cock in him when he cums).

With practice it is usually possible for a top to control how much stimulation he gives himself by fucking; knowing when to hold back a little if he feels his excitement building too fast. If you can gain finer control over this, by nearly cumming and then pulling back from the brink a few times, you will be better able to hover near the point of no return and cum 'on cue' when the bottom is ready.

If synchronisation is too difficult, it is usually best for the bottom to cum first. The anal spasms as he reaches and then experiences his climax will often trigger the top. If not, it is a pleasant sensation anyway. Next time you can cum first. What a gent!

Afterglow

This is a very important point. Being fucked is often a very emotional experience for a man. You could hurt his feelings if you don't show him some affection afterwards. Put your arms round him and lay his head on your chest. You can lovingly stroke his beautiful butt as you both drift off into blissful dreamy sleep . . .


Sturdy