Sunday 18 April 2010

How To Suck Cock

The following article is NOT BY ME. It has been passed around the internet for several years and the original author is unknown. I have added it here so that people can easily find it and link to it. I have added a few comments of my own to the end. Personally I think every bottom should read this!



HOW TO SUCK COCK - A 14 LESSON TUTORIAL WITH TECHNIQUES FROM SOME OF THE EXPERTS.

LESSON ONE

I am not sure if it was because I grew up in a household with brothers or whether I would have had the same feelings and inclinations had I been an only child but I do know that from the time of my earliest memories I have been fascinated with penises.

Let's talk about the "basic penis." I regard oral sex as the highest form of expression of love that can be exchanged between two people. Hopefully this information will help you to break down any barriers which you might have that would prevent you from expressing your love in this way and from receiving a reciprocation from your male companion.

First things first. LOOK at the cock. I do not mean a cursory glance not a hurried, surreptitious examination. Take enough time that you convince your companion that some kind of treat is in store for him provided he will allow you to do with him, and particularly with his cock, exactly what you want.

Place him flat on his back on your bed, in a well lighted room. Take his cock in your hand and LOOK at it. He probably will not have the will power to stay soft, but then again you are worshipping his very essence. Few men can stay soft under these circumstances, when it is apparent that the person LOOKING at his cock is worshipping.

When you first start to touch him, his cock will become hard and be in a state where your examination will be meaningful. Wouldn't it be nice if going to the doctor for an examination was as enriching?

The cock must be hard if you are to be able to note the important parts - those parts sensitive to stimulation by your lips and tongue.

The first thing you will note is whether or not he is circumcised. Circumcision is not universally practiced: there are advantages and disadvantages to penises in both conditions from the standpoint of providing oral caresses that bring the highest kind of delight to your man.

Next take a close look at the shaft of the penis itself. There is a bulbous part of the organ near the outer end, slightly larger in diameter than the shaft, which is often called the head. Technically this is the 'glans penis' (comes from the Latin glans which means acorn. Look at it closely; does kind of look like an acorn doesn't it?)

The outside perimeter of the glans penis is the corona. This joins the head to the shaft. This is the most sensitive spot on the penis. It is toward this ridge that you will direct most of your attention when you are giving head. Follow this ridge around to the underside of the penis. You know that I like to call it the underbelly. I am particularly fond of the underbelly!

You will notice a point of juncture where the two ends of this irregular circle come together. If your partner is not circumcised, this will also be the point where the foreskin is attached. This tiny area is easily the most sensitive spot on his entire body, and it is possible to bring your partner to climax simply by gently tapping the tip of your tongue directly on it. Spend time caressing the glans and those areas immediately surrounding it.

Beneath the glans is the shaft of the penis. The shaft does not have many nerve endings and does not, therefore, provide a man with any high degree of stimulation when caressed either manually or with your tongue to the exclusion of the glans penis itself. It always amazes me to note the number of confirmed cocksuckers who believe that sucking up and down on the shaft will get the guy off. That's not it folks! If it works it is because the back of your throat is playing tricks on his glans penis. Your throat is giving head to his head!

Beneath the shaft are the testicles (balls, jewels, call them what you like, but let's not ignore their significance). The testicles are extremely sensitive to pain and are not usually considered subject to erotic stimulation to any particular degree. Not true! You can add a high degree of pleasure for him by paying the right kind of attention to the balls!

Now lets go back to the shaft of the matter. The opening in the tip of the glans penis is the meatus. Here is where the cum spurts. (I could have said semen is ejaculated but I did not want to sound too professional).

There are other parts of a man's body which respond with alacrity to oral stimulation.

Many men are particularly sensitive around the nipples. The first time I kissed my partner's nipples he shot before I had the chance to even get near his cock. While I have not been able to duplicate this in the laboratory setting (he hates to go near the lab with me) my partner still gets extremely turned on by my lingual nipple caresses.

So LOOK at your partner's penis. Study it. Learn its areas of special sensitivity completely and be ready to apply your knowledge to his body with your tongue and with your lips when you bend your loving head over his cock. There is nothing that you can do which more clearly shows your love for him than the worship you can provide his cock!

LESSON TWO

The sad fact is that most people, men and women, do not have the slightest idea of how to suck cock. Most seem to think that simply by making a cunt of their mouth, closing it around a man's penis, and bobbing their heads lustily up and down until he climaxes automatically makes them expert cocksuckers. Au contraire!

Consummate skill is required to suck a man's cock and provide him with the highest degree of pleasure possible. When I first started my quest I really had no one to turn to for advice and counsel. It was all hunt and suck. Hunt and suck. Find that one technique that could and would set him on fire! I had to learn from my experiences and while I would not want to deny you the innate pleasure that these experiences will bring I would hate to see you lose a great companion because of your inexperience and lack of expertise.

Let's assume that you have taken that opportunity to LOOK at his penis. To explore each area of the penis to find the most sensitive parts. That you have gotten beyond "Parts is parts" and recognize that some parts are more equal than others.

In order for you to observe your man's reactions and get the most information possible about his responses try the following:

While his erect penis points toward the ceiling, cup his balls in one hand and gently, using only your tongue, lick softly, but carefully along the entire underside of his erect organ. As you suck along the underbelly you will learn those areas that give him the greatest pleasure when your tongue is touching them. Unless he is made of stone, your partner will provide you with vivid clues as to which areas are most pleasurable.

As you discover these areas of enhanced pleasure concentrate on them. For most men the most sensitive area will be the point where the ring (or corona) of the head and the foreskin are attached. Or were attached prior to his circumcision. By continued licking and tapping along this area with your tongue you are going to bring forth a geyser. If you are not skilled and you want to please him in a hurry I suggest that you get him off in this manner in order to become familiar at first hand with the nature and delight of his climax.

As he is getting ready for climax you will note changes in his penis. These signs will be the same every time he climaxes so that you can prepare for his cum properly. The head of the cock may swell somewhat larger then it is during the normal course of his erection. He may thrust his hips forward as he wants to send his body hurtling out his cock with his cum. And for most men, immediately prior to the cum, there will appear at the tiny, lovely lips at the tip of the cock a clear drop or two of fluid. When you see this or feel the opening at the meatus through his condom you know that the moment of truth is at hand. Launch the torpedoes, full cum ahead!

Where should you be when you are sucking his cock? Between his legs, on top of him, in a sixty nine position? Where? Because of the structure of his penis, as well as the structure of your mouth, lips, tongue, and teeth, you can provide the highest degree of sensation to yourself and your partner by kneeling between his legs and approaching his cock from the bottom rather than from the side or the top. Don't believe me? Try the various positions (I describe in later chapters techniques to be used with each position). See what works best for you and your partner.

LESSON THREE


Place his stiff cock inside your mouth but do not tighten your lips around the shaft. With your head begin a circle motion. The cock will slide to different places in your mouth as you continue the circle motion. Watch your teeth on this one. A kneeling position will suffice but it is also effective when your partner is on his back and your head is directly over his cock. The circle should be executed in both clockwise and counterclockwise motions in a slow purposeful manner. I found many guys in New York who seem to prefer this technique above all others. I met one guy who could circle a cock for hours and I found myself having multiple orgasms while his mouth circled my cock. I didn't lose my hard-on after each cum. When the technique is performed correctly it means many hours of unadulterated pleasure.

LESSON FOUR

With your man sitting in an elevated position and you on your knees in front of him lift his hard cock to reveal his balls. With your tongue find the underside of his balls. Now, while resting his balls on your wet tongue, lick in an upward motion to the very tip of his cock. It is permissible to use your hands in this technique. It is bettor to do this technique several times in succession-like licking a lollipop or ice cream cone. I grew up down south. And one thing about southern boys. We learn early how to get it off quickly when the need is there. And the lollipop lick is the one technique in this book which few men can tolerate for long periods of time without cumming.

LESSON FIVE

Right now lets discuss a technique that is probably the most common cocksucking technique in the world. Take his cock in your mouth but not deeply. We will get to deep throating later on. It's great, not over-rated, but if you want to be an expert at deep throat start with the right techniques and work your way down, so to speak.

Take his cock in your mouth by sliding your moistened tongue lovingly over the head until your lips close around the shaft at the point just behind the corona. Don't just open your mouth and close it around his cock. Slide it in. He will enjoy it much more.

Encase the shaft of his penis with your hand. Remember the shaft is relatively insensitive to any kind of stimulation. By enclosing his penis with your hand you give him the sensation of having his penis encased.

Now you have several options. Try twisting your head from side to side making sure your moist lips stay in contact with the coronal ridge. While doing this gently move your hand up and down the shaft. When he climaxes he may want to push your head further down the shaft of his penis. He wants to envelop you with his cock. As you are learning his climax you will miss the fine points if you deep throat at this time. Instead gently suck around the corona as he climaxes so that you can intensify his pleasure and increase the force of his orgasm.

As you gain more experience you will be able to tell exactly when his climax is approaching and you will be ready for that initial spurt out the rubber.

LESSON SIX

There is one further refinement to this basic technique which will heighten his orgasm. If you place your thumb at the very base of the penis in such a way as to block the tube through which the cum spurts, the semen cannot escape even though he is spasming and going through the reflex action of ejaculating semen.

If at the same time you suck vigorously on the head of his cock you can delay his cum for several long moments. When you finally allow the cum to spurt it will last much longer and be just as intense as a result. Even though you delay the cum for only a few short moments you will be surprised by the intensity of his cum.

These techniques are the basis of cocksucking. Do not go beyond them until you have become an expert, not only in the techniques themselves, but also in the reading and interpreting of your partner's responses to such a point that you know exactly how he is getting off on what you are doing. When you have reached this point, you are ready for the more subtle, more advanced techniques.

Don't be so slavish that you miss out on the fun of self discovery. Find out what works for you and for your partner and make your cocksucking as individual as your signature. After all, you want your man to pick you out in the dark among a hundred slobbering cocksuckers.

LESSON SEVEN

One of the first things you encountered when you first started to suck cock was a gag reflex. Most men seem to want to force their cocks down your throat as far as they can get it. Particularly at the moment when they cum!

Consider for a moment that the average length of your oral cavity is three to three and a half inches while the average Caucasian cock length is five to five and a half inches. The laws of nature would seem to dictate that getting all that cock into your mouth is an impossibility.

It can be done. You probably know someone who can do it and that is why you purchased this book to begin with. It is possible to master the necessary technique. I don't want to be boring, but if you understand your anatomy you will begin to understand the requirements that allow you to take his hard cock into your mouth and down your throat. The biggest obstacle to taking all of his cock down your throat is the fact that there is a bend of almost ninety degrees behind your tongue leading down into your throat. So the first thing to do is get the cock past that angle.

Get past the angle of the dangle!

In order to practice this, get in a position where you can turn your head in such a way that your mouth and throat lie almost in a straight line. The best position to accomplish this is to lie on a bed so that your head is near the edge with your body sprawled across the bed so that your head is tipped sharply back. This position will put your mouth and throat nearly in a line and will allow your partner to approach you in such a way that insertion of his cock can be made so deeply that his pubic hair presses against your lips.

LESSON EIGHT

Today we will practice mastering physical reaction that must be alleviated before the art of deep penetration can fully be enjoyed. The natural tendency of the body to gag when a foreign object such as a deeply thrusting cock being forced down your throat. You can overcome this tendency by completely relaxing your throat at moment the insertion is made. It is equally important that you maintain this relaxation during the entire deep throating.

Let him put his cock down your throat and hold it still while you find the most comfortable way to proceed. Because of your position you will not be able to move or to offer him any greater stimulation than simply keeping your mouth tightly closed around his throbbing cock. If you are able try to stimulate his underbelly with your tongue, do it!

You will only be able to relax and take his cock in this way if you completely thrust your partner. Your partner is in full control. He must initiate and maintain all the motion. This is the only exercise in which you relinquish your control of the situation to your partner. He will relish this for the simple fact that for the first time he can insert his cock as deeply down your throat as he wants to. Now your partner begins an in and out movement that is just like fucking. He should start slowly, especially if this is a completely new experience for the two of you. After all if he hurts you he cuts himself off from one of the great pleasures in life. His only other requirement during this exercise is to keep the motion in the same direction throughout this oral exercise as there is simply no leeway for him to vary the motion from side to side.

One other word of caution.

Don't let your partner get carried away at the moment he starts to cum. At that spectacular moment he will be able for the first time to thrust his cock all the way inside your oral cavity and that is the most important lesson of this exercise! His only other requirement during the exercise is to keep the motion in the same against your lips as he cums. Because of your position in bed you will not be faced with the problem of swallowing his cum. And this is not just because he has a condom on his dick. The reason is because he has gotten his cock BEYOND your gag reflex! Without the rubber his cum would shoot directly into your stomach! If both you and your partner understand what it is that you are trying to do as well as the possible problems that may "cum" up along the way no harm or discomfort will happen to either of you.

It is possible that not everyone will learn the "deep throat" technique but this inability does not make you any less a cocksucker. You must allow your throat to relax completely while your partner is thrusting his cock this deeply down your throat. To do this long enough for your partner to completely get it off is very difficult and may require practice beyond this day. It may be that you will be able to take your partner completely down your throat, but you will not be able to maintain proper relaxation of your throat to until he shoots his load. Hopefully your partner will understand that this is not a rejection of him or of what he is offering you, and it is my sincere desire that you not stop here and think that you will never master the "deep throat" technique.

Continue to practice this lesson. I know couples who have devoted ten months to this lesson alone. Continue to practice this technique because your practice will allow you to take his cock deeper into your throat each time and for longer periods of time. Ultimately you will succeed. If you have the desire you will get this one down pat!

LESSON NINE


Now lets turn to another portion of your partner's anatomy which should not be ignored-the family jewels. Here are two objects which can enhance your partner's feelings more than any other. Many people do not think of the balls as primary sexual objects. Many men are extremely sensitive and just as in lesson eight there must be a certain amount of trust built up between the two of you before he will willingly let you have undisputed use of these two pearls of delight!

For today's lesson begin by gently licking his balls with your tongue. As your partner becomes more trusting you may begin to play with his nipples with your fingers gradually increasing or decreasing the intensity as you gauge how he is responding. You may want to gently caress his cock with your hand while you are bathing his balls with your tongue.

Remember that the balls are extremely sensitive to pain and he will lose his trust in you if you do not respect any limits he places on them just as you have the right to place limits on the back of your throat until you are completely ready to receive him.

It is possible once you have built up this trust to take both his balls in your mouth. He will be more receptive to this if you thoroughly wet them with your tongue prior to taking them into your mouth. Unless your partner is into the new fad of complete body shaving he will have tiny hairs on his testicles. By giving the balls a complete tongue bath prior to taking them into your mouth, you will have pressed these hairs down along the surface of the sac and will not inadvertently cause pain by pulling on them.

This may seem a small lesson but you will discover an entirely new world of sensations for your partner when you take the time to get to know his testicles!

LESSON TEN

I hesitated to include this into your lesson plan but finally I decided that if you are aware of the most safe way to do this technique that my responsibility for giving you the tools to be the best cocksucker you can be will be satisfied.

Analingus. Putting your tongue to his anal opening. Ass sucking.

Before you even consider doing this, make certain that your partner is clean. Immediately out of the shower. Place a piece of Saran wrap over the butt. At no time should your tongue come into contact with the anal surface itself.

For this lesson place your partner on his back with his legs in the air and his knees close to his shoulders. This spreads his buttocks apart and allows you access to his butthole.

You are probably under the impression that actual penetration of the asshole itself is necessary for your partner to receive the most complete enjoyment of this technique. Not so mojo! The nerve endings around the anus itself have no discrimination and you will get him off just as well and as thoroughly by licking around the area as if you stick your tongue up his butt!

As with some of your other lessons this technique will not usually be enough to get him to cum, but I feel that it is important to know all aspects of your partner's body in order to give him the most complete pleasure you can. You may find that after many hours of oral pleasure you need to have other areas to concentrate on in order to give him the satisfaction he deserves.

Analingus is a powerful stimulant and when combined with other activities such as vigorous hand stimulation on his cock will cause a rapid and powerful cum!

LESSON ELEVEN

For most of our lessons the only thing required is yourself, your partner, and a condom. Maybe some Saran wrap. A plastic glove or two. Well, another toy that will enhance your pleasure is a mini- vibrator. For this lesson you may want to start with your finger. Then as you and your partner become more accustomed to each other you may find him a little intrigued about the vibrator and what it can do for him.

As you are giving head begin a slow playful search around his ass. Many men are particularly sensitive in this area and it will enhance the sensations that your mouth and tongue and throat are giving his cock to feel a finger playing with his butt. As your partner relaxes and allows you access, gently insert your gloved finger into his butt. Go slowly exploring the velvety sensations along the sides of his opening.

When your finger is inside his asshole completely you will be at the area of the prostate gland. Massage of this gland by your finger will produce some of the most delightful sensations your partner has yet to experience. I remember going to the doctor for a physical the first time I felt this sensation. I could hardly wait to get home and have my partner try it out on me again. While it was a bit embarrassing to cum in the doctor's office, the feelings that the doctor inadvertently produced were so strong that I wanted to experience them again and again!

A gloved finger is really all that is required for this lesson. However some members of the Cocksuckers Club of America report to me that a mini-vibrator works exceptionally well for this type of stimulus. It is just the same length as the average finger and due to the vibrations that it produces the sensations against the prostate gland are even more enhanced!

If your partner likes this stimulation you must then discover which method he likes best. Some men prefer an in an out movement with the finger or the vibrator while others do not. I personally find this painful--too much like a stab in the dark. I prefer the finger or vibrator to be placed against the prostate gland and left there to do its most. Whichever method your partner prefers is the one you should use.

One other point. When your partner cums there will be a natural tendency for him to push the finger or vibrator out of his asshole. The asshole muscles are spasming and anything in the way will be forced out. But to maximize his pleasure you must not let this happen. Hold your finger or the vibrator firmly in place-- this will help to stimulate the sperm production to its maximum.

Many people have questioned me about a vibrator around the cock itself. Does it add to the sensation or not?

It does for my partner, it does not for me. That seems to be the consensus of opinion of other readers of FRENCH CUISINE MAGAZINE as well. I suggest as long as you have the vibrator handy anyway, try it around the penis. When you are licking his balls. When you are licking his asshole. If he gets off on it, then feel free to use the vibrator around his dick and balls. If he hates the sensation obviously don't try it again.

LESSON TWELVE

There are times when you will want to get him off in a hurry! I always say that Southern boys learn this one first and then expand their repertory from that point. But because I want you to become an expert at all aspects of oral lovemaking I deliberately waited until now to introduce this technique. It differs from lesson four in that you are a more consummate cocksucker now. He will love it all the more if he realizes that this is not the only trick you have down your mouth!

It is a very simple technique and if you understand your partner's basic cock anatomy you will grasp this one easily. Place your lips around the head of your partner's cock and twirl your lips wetly and gently around the coronal ridge at the back of the head of his penis. This does not require any great cocksucking skill and it works simply because this is the area that is most sensitive on your partner's cock.

It is not necessary to be a skillful cocksucker. All that is necessary is for you to find the most sensitive area around the coronal area. By sucking on this area of his cock continuously you will produce a quick powerful cum. It is not necessary to bob your head up and down on his cock to get him off. One other use of this technique is to get him hard again after he cums and you will soon find him rip roaring to go again.

LESSON THIRTEEN

Don't be surprised if you find yourself going back to this lesson for seconds. We discussed briefly at the end of lesson 12 a technique to get him going again if he has recently cum. Today after you have gotten your man off, lets concentrate on some techniques to get him back on again. Not just to get him hard but to keep him hard. Hard enough to want to cum again!

After he has cum you may need other techniques to keep him hard and to keep him interested. Many men (not all but a good portion of us) are exhausted by a single cum and while it is possible to get your partner up again you have a long way to go before you get him to cum again.

Cocksucking alone at this time is usually not enough to get him off. You will need to combine some of the techniques you have learned earlier with your basic cocksucking technique to stimulate the juices for a second and third go around. Don't hesitate in your exploration of his body at this time. His nipples, his balls, his asshole. His armpits. His earlobes.

For the second cum you are free to really get into his body and explore all those erotic areas that you missed when you were concentrating on his cock exclusively. His navel. His toes.

One of the things I find most exciting about the second cum is the lack of expectation that you must get him to climax within a certain time frame. You have all the time in the world to really give his total body a complete tongue bath. You can explore his body safely and completely and really get to know the total body as well as you know his delightful dick! This is merely a sign that you are becoming a true connoisseur of cockflesh. A title I am proud to hold.

LESSON FOURTEEN

Soixante-Neuf (Sixty Nine)

Sixty nine is not always the perfect way to provide your partner oral satisfaction. Inadvertently one of you will "let up" your end of the cocksucking in order to experience the subtle pleasures the other partner is giving you. For this reason I have included it as the final lesson. Many people think that the deep throat technique is the ultimate pleasure you can give your partner. Actually I believe that sixty-nine is the ultimate pleasure.

Done correctly and unselfishly when both of you are completely in tune with each others innermost desires, the sixty nine is the ultimate. But because of the problem mentioned earlier in this lesson, most people practice it too early and it becomes an intensely satisfying experience for one partner at the expense of the other. When you are completely on each other's wavelength you will discover that this is the most effective way of giving as well as receiving pleasure. The element that must be in place is simple: Both of you must be consummate cocksuckers! If you have a partner who is not in the least interested in giving head and only likes to receive it then to attempt sixty-nine is to ask for unhappiness in your relationship.

TECHNIQUES

As editor of FRENCH CUISINE MAGAZINE I sometimes send out questionnaires to our members to find out more. I question them about their desires, and their favorite ways to practice safe and sane oral sex

Here are some of the most popular variations on cocksucking.

THE BUTTERFLY FLUTTER

The best position for this very sensuous cocksucking movement is kneeling over your partner. If he is on his back kneel between his legs. Or kneel in front of your partner while he stands. I like this position because the cock feels thicker in your mouth and throat and you have complete freedom to play with his balls while performing this maneuver.

This technique was first introduced to me by a cocksucker in northern California. There was a notorious movie theater in downtown San Francisco with a darkened balcony. A cocksucker's haven. And this guy had us lined up. You knew from the moans emanating from the guy's throat who was getting his cock sucked that this guy was that one in a thousand who knew how to please a variety of fresh cockmeat. It felt so good that I studied him closely while he was sucking cock. Not only did I observe the guys who were getting the radical suck, but I got down close to the cock and observed how he was maneuvering around it. He created the basic vacuum pressure on the cock but only enough pressure to pull the cock into his mouth ever so slightly.

With his lips firmly wrapped around the guy's big swollen cock head and shaft he would gently flick the tip of the cock with his tongue. With his lips open around the cock at a depth so that he could touch the tip of the cock with the tip of his tongue. With his lips around the cock shaft he would make an up and down movement with his tongue. He would flutter his tongue up and down the tip of the cock.

I recommend you try it. It will drive your Butterfly Flutter partner back into your mouth at any hour you want him there. After several minutes of this continue with the basic vacuum suck.

THE TRAVELING FIGURE EIGHT

After you have become comfortable with the basic vacuum suck and you have become accustomed to his cock deep in your mouth and throat try this action. It is guaranteed to take his breath away. With your lips firmly wrapped around the cock shaft try very slowly to reach the base of the shaft or as close to it as you are comfortable. Your nose should be buried in or at least touching the pubic hairs at the base of the cock.

With your nose trace a figure eight as if the figure eight were lying on it's side. Your figure eight motion should be three to four inches long. Slowly travel up the shaft of the cock to the head, doing the figure eight motion. Keep doing this motion and let your lips firmly travel up and down the cock shaft. Do this for as long as you are comfortable with it. Believe me your man is floating in orbit as his wildest dreams of the ultimate blow job are coming true.

I give credit for this most erogenous technique to a member of "The Cocksuckers Club of America" who lives in Oregon. He and his partner were on vacation down in Southern California and they visited me while here. After seeing him scrape his partner off the ceiling when he did the Traveling Figure Eight, I rushed right into my bedroom and perfected it on my own partner! When you get tired of the movement slow down and return to the basic vacuum suck.

By this time you are becoming more and more confident with your partner. His cock feels great as it fills your mouth and throat. The cock is becoming harder and warmer as your warm moist mouth and throat create friction by going up and down that big beautiful cock. It is time to cool his tool just a little with this technique.

COOL THE TOOL

I take full credit for this one myself! From tho time I hit puberty I was fascinated by cocks. Big ones, little ones, cut ones, uncut ones, crooked ones, straight ones. All shapes, all sizes. I wanted to feel them down my throat! Combine this very basic love of cocksucking with an inherent fear of not being able to take cock and completely satisfy the customer and you can imagine how I felt. I needed a technique that would feel good in my mouth and would feel good for my partner. Here's what I came up with:

Go down on the cock shaft as far as you are comfortable. All the while your lips should be firmly wrapped around the shaft. Open your mouth as wide as you can and suck in as much air as your lungs will hold. While sucking in air let your open mouth travel up to the cock head. Your up stroke motion should end at the head of his cock just as your lungs fill with air. Now with your mouth still open let the air in your lungs out slowly through your mouth as your opened mouth travels back down the cock shaft. This technique cools the cock on the up stoke and warms the cock with your hot breath on the down stroke. Do this movement as long as you like then return to the basic vacuum suck method.

CONGRATULATIONS!

You are doing just fine and he loves it!

Keep it up as long as you are comfortable with it.

For his added pleasure and to give you something to play with reach up and fondle his balls. Or go up even further and play with his nipples. This will give him something else to concentrated on so he doesn't pop his cock yet. If you feel he is about to cum stop what you are doing and let him cool off for a few minutes. After all you are having fun and you want to enjoy his cock as much as you can until you get tired of it. Then let him pop his cock! But not yet. He likes it too much and he wants it to last as long as you can keep it going.

THE CIRCLE

Place his stiff cock inside your mouth but do not tighten your lips around the shaft. With your head begin a circle motion. The cock will slide to different places in your mouth as you continue the circle motion. Watch your teeth on this one.

A kneeling position will suffice but it is also effective when your partner is on his back and your head is directly over his cock. The circle should be executed in both clockwise and counterclockwise motions in a slow purposeful manner.

THE LOLLIPOP LICK

With your man sitting in an elevated position and you on your knees in front lift his hard cock to reveal his balls. With your tongue find the underside of his balls. Now, while resting his balls on your wet tongue, lick in an upward motion to the very tip of his cock. It is permissible to use your hands in this technique. It is better to do this technique several times in succession-like licking a lollipop or ice cream cone.

* * * * * * *


STURDY: I would add a few points that may be of use:

Vary sensation by using hot and cold drinks, spices such as ginger, or fizzy drinks / effervescent sweets.

If you have facial hair it feels nice to use this to tickle the underbelly of the shaft. But beware of sharp stubble on the cock head!

Drinking orange juice - according to some people - helps you to dee- throat

Desensitise your gag reflex by brushing the back of your tongue with a toothbrush. This is a gradual thing, not something you can accomplish overnight. In time your throat will become less sensitive so that you can deep-throat a cock without choking.

Topology : Part Five - Sensetive Butts



SENSITIVE BUTTS

We all know how important it is to use protection, but there are issues with the average rubber johnny that seem to go unreported by the folks who are usually banging on at us to use them.

Standard condoms are made of latex rubber. For most of us this is not a problem but some people are hypersensitive to latex, like a mild allergeric reaction. It causes irritation, which can make sex painful.

Also, many condoms come pre-lubricated. As they are largely designed for straight people this lube often contains the spermicide nonoxynol-9. Again, this can cause irritation to some people.

Sometimes people who are hypersensitive to latex or spermicide know about it, but I am sure that often they don't. If they do, they are not always aware of the alternatives.

BUM-FRIENDLY JOHNNIES:

Durex Avanti Ultra are made of synthetic polyisoprene (artificial rubber) - £7 for 5 from Superdrug.

Femidoms are made of polyurethane (a soft form of plastic), and condoms made of polyurethane are also available. You can't buy them in most shops, though, you have to order them online. The advantage with this material is that you can use any lubricant you like, including oil-based. It is less elastic than rubber, though, so breakage is more likely.

BUM-FRIENDLY LUBE:

One friend of mine was considering barebacking because the spermicide on condoms irritated his arse. Although he enjoys bottoming, it always left him feeling very sore and meant he had to stop sooner than he would have liked. I told him about Mates Natural (OK, demonstrated) which does not contain spermicide, and he has never looked back.

Boys Own lube is spermicide-free and contains aloe vera, a natural ingredient that has soothing properties. It is also free of parabens (a preservative found in many other lubricants) to which some people can also be hypersensitive.

I've seen ads for the American lubricant Astroglide, now available in the UK, which has a variety that does not contain glycerin (another substance that some people may be hypersensitive to).

BEST OPTION?

I've encountered more guys recently who want to bottom but experience irritation from the standard products, so for them I'm considering the Avanti non-latex condoms. They come pre-lubed with spermicide, though, so I'm thinking I'll put one on then rub it dry with a tissue before adding Boys Own.

Boys Own contains glycerin, so this is a concern, though I don't know how common glycerin hypersenstivity is.

I would suggest a little experimentation. If you don't know which product is causing the irritation, try replacing one at a time. The bum may be fine with latex condoms but not with spermicide lube, or vice versa.


Sturdy

Topology : Part Four: Performance



PERFORMANCE

A good top also needs physical qualities to ensure he does a good job... Potency, Endurance and Stamina

Potency

Potency is the ability to achieve and maintain an erection for as long as is desirable. Erection occurs involuntarily, as the result of stimulation – direct physical stimulation, psychological stimulation, or a combination of both. It can be induced but not forced.

Usually, the erection will last until ejaculation, whereupon the penis will go soft. Further stimulation will have no effect because the body will have entered the “refactory period” where the nervous system needs time to recover before another erection can be achieved. This recoverey period will vary from man to man; there is no ‘normal’ length of time. With the right mix of relaxation, partner compatibility and physical/psychological stimulation (“chemistry”) the recovery time may be shorter than usual.

Some men can get it up and go again soon afterwards, and then a third time, maybe a fourth, etc. but again this is a matter of individual variation. If once in a night is enough for you, that is not a problem. It is important not to try to live up to unrealistic expectations, especially if they are based on pornography … video editing creates the illusion of superhuman studs who can fuck, shoot and then stay hard (or get hard again, instantly) and go a few times more, all in the space of about twenty minutes. Real sex takes longer, which is not a bad thing at all! Savour the moment; you’re not in the Whacky Races…

Performance anxiety


There are various things that can inhibit erection, the most common cause being anxiety. Feeling worried, nervous, uncomfortable, unhappy, preoccupied, etc. can prevent or kill an erection. It can be an overwhelming feeling or just a little nagging at the back of the mind, but the result will be the same. ‘Performance anxiety’ is a specific cause of erectile dysfunction (“impotence”), a vicious circle in which the man’s fear of disappointing his partner becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Ideally, the man should feel relaxed as well as stimulated. It may help if the sex is not too rushed; foreplay and, preceding that, some ‘getting to know you’ time so that both partners feel at ease with each other.

Other sources of anxiety may be related to negative feelings about sex such as shame or guilt, feeling that sex is “dirty”, or associating sex with violence or abuse. This type of anxiety may require counselling, or just a very patient and supportive partner. Depression is another cause of general sexual dysfunction, often including a lack of basic interest in sex.

Exhaustion

There may be physical causes of impotence, the most common being too much alcohol (“brewer’s droop”); some recreational drugs can have the same effect. Smoking impairs general health and fitness, affecting circulation, which is vital for potency. Tiredness can also impair function, and it can be physical and/or mental exhaustion from too much work, stress, or insufficient rest, relaxation or sleep. Other causes are general illness and poor health/fitness, such as being badly overweight.

There are medical conditions which can impair erection, which can be ruled out if the man can achieve erections whilst alone, and naturally when waking up (“morning glory”). If a medical problem is suspected, professional help should be sought without delay, either from a GP or via a GUM clinic.

Some guys have a problem with condoms; everything is fine until they pop one on (or stop in order to rubber up) and then the erection is lost. This can be a physical problem; the condom may be too small and therefore too tight, so it will ‘deflate’ the cock by squeezing the blood out of it back into the body. The best way to combat this is to try a variety of condoms, maybe even a Femidom (a polyurethane bag used as a ‘female condom’ by women which is inserted before penetration).

Eliminate fumbling

It can be a psychological problem as well; the simple distraction of having to stop and put on a rubber can be enough to cause the erection to be lost. If this is the case, then it may help to get used to putting it on quickly and smoothly. It may also be useful to set things up in advance to speed up the process of getting rubbered up, lubed up and into the guy’s bum; make sure the condoms and lube are in easy reach and take the rubbers out of the packet already so as to eliminate fumbling. If you have lubed fingers it can be difficult to tear open a condom packet or a sachet of lube, so open them in advance, or at least make a small tear in the packet/sachet so it can be more easily opened at the crucial moment.

Some guys use artificial aids to maintain an erection. One old method is constriction, using something tight around the base of the cock and balls to trap blood inside the cock, keeping it hard. This can be a cockring, usually made of steel or rubber, though they can come in the form of a leather strap with studs so that it can be fitted and removed. It is very important not to use anything that cannot be safely removed, such as thin cord, as long-term restriction of the blood vessels can cause permanent damage.

Viagra is a prescription drug for treating physical impotence. Somemen use it to ‘ehance’ sex, though strictly speaking it is not an aphrodisiac; it does not induce an erection, it only helps maintain an erection once it has been achieved. As it is still a relatively new drug, the long-term side effects are not known, especially in men who do NOT actually have a physical problem with erection; it may even have the reverse effect long term because of interfering with body chemistry.

NOTE: It is VERY important not to ever use Viagra at the same time as Poppers (amyl nitrate etc.) as both drugs lower the blood pressure, and the combination can be FATAL.

Endurance

Endurance in this context refers to how long the top can fuck without cumming. If he can fuck for a satisfactorily long time without cumming, he can be said to have good endurance, and if he cannot he has poor endurance. Very poor endurance is the recognised sexual problem premature ejaculation. Of course, all this is relative, not everyone wants to fuck (or be fucked) for hours on end, so if five minutes is satisfactory then there is no need to view this endurance as a problem at all.

For those who would like to prolong a fuck, however, there are various methods the top can use. The first method is to reduce stimulation, and this is usually achieved by reducing speed. Some tops will start fucking and continue to increase the speed and force of their thrusts until climax, which naturally will be achieved in the minimal amount of time. Varying speed will prolong the fuck and allow you to recognise when you are reaching the point of no return (PONR) at which point ejaculation is imminent. You can then slow down or stop until stimulation subsides to a level at which you can continue safely.

If you have trouble recognising the PONR you can practice by yourself when you masturbate. See how long you can wank without cumming; when you feel yourself getting close to climax, slow down or stop. Then start again and repeat the process several times. You will become more sensitive to your own physical reactions and better at keeping your stimulation at the right level in order to delay climax. This is basic sexual endurance training for a top.

Partial ejaculation


Stopping or slowing right before the PONR may prevent the climax or it may cause a partial ejaculation; you will feel some spunk escape and may feel some pleasure but the full amount of spunk will not be released, the sensation is less intense than a full climax and – most importantly – the erection is not lost. At this point you can then stop or continue and climax normally, probably very soon if so desired.

Taking a break is also a good method of prolonging the fuck. You can cool down while pleasuring the bottom guy in other ways. You may find that changing position and/or technique will also help, if different variations provide less stimulation.

Another way to increase endurance is to reduce the initial sensitivity. One way of doing this is to use a thicker condom (wearing two, one on top of the other, is not advisable because they can break if they rub against each other). You can also exploit the male body’s own refactory period. The natural insensitivity that follows ejaculation and inhibits subsequent stimulation until a certain period of time has passed (which varies but is often around 30 minutes). You can do this by ejaculating 30-60 minutes before the fuck; more stimulation (more time fucking) will be required to reach climax. This can take the form of solo preparation before meeting the bottom guy, or it can be worked into the session as a whole if the bottom guy is amenable; the top’s first ejaculation can be quick, short and sweet, and then you have a break before the ‘Main Event’. There is no need to think of 'poor' endurance as being a problem at all.

Stamina

Stamina in this context refers to how long the top can fuck without getting tired. Fucking uses all the major muscle groups and is an aerobic activity; muscular action fuelled by oxygen which the heart must deliver to the muscles via the bloodstream. This is a matter of general fitness, and if you take regular exercise (which you should anyway, for your general health) this should be sufficient.

If you want to increase your fitness then any aerobic activity will help with this – walking, running, swimming, sport, even using stairs instead of escalators or elevators. The aim is to strengthen the heart, which is basically a muscular pump, and even a moderate increase in physical activity will have significant benefits.

Fucking itself, is, of course, excellent cardio-vascular exercise! The recommended minimum exercise is 30 minutes, three times a week, but the more you do, the fitter you will be. As a general rule of thumb, you can monitor your fitness level by taking your resting pulse rate. Do this when you are totally relaxed, ideally before you get out of bed in the morning. The normal adult pulse rate is between 60 and 80 beats per minute. If it is much higher than this, this is a sign of a weak heart that has to pump faster to get oxygenated blood around the body to the muscles and organs. Generally, the lower the resting pulse rate, the stronger the heart is; many sportsmen have RPRs in the 50s or even lower.

Workout

A general workout of all the major muscle groups will also improve your performance; fucking uses not just the hips but also the back, legs, arms and chest. Press-ups are good for strengthening all of these if done correctly - keep your back straight!

Flexibility is also important, in fucking as it is in exercise, and a little gentle stretching before and after any strenuous activity will also help prevent minor injuries. Plus, the more flexible you are, the more comfortable you will be fucking in different positions

* * *

Good health - eating the right foods, getting regular exercise, getting enough sleep, avoiding stress, avoiding drugs - will contribute to your performance, as well as your general wellbeing.

Not only will you fuck better and longer, you'll LIVE better and longer!

Ultimately, being a 'good top' is not about conforming to any model or standard or following a manual, it is all about how you and the bottom work together. If you are both happy with your sex life there is no need to make any adjustments - if it's not broken, there's no need to fix it.

Look after yourself, respect the bottom, maintain good communication and you will be on TOP form!


Sturdy

Topology : Part Three: Technique



TECHNIQUE

The basic fucking technique is simple thrusting – pumping the hips in order to drive the cock in and out. The speed, force and angle can be varied, which will prolong the fuck. For a virgin you should start off VERY slowly and gently. He may be able to take more heavy duty action after a while, but don't overdo it.

Variations on thrusting include:

Repenetration: pulling out all the way and then reinserting – This allows the anus to close completely, so that the bottom experiences the full penetration repeatedly. The anus is stretched open over and over again, and the outer surface is continually stimulated more so than if the cock stays inside (as the nerve endings that register pleasure and pain are concentrated around the anus rather than the rectum). This requires plenty of lubrication, and is not recommended for virgin bottoms as it can put too much strain on a ring that does not readily relax.

Gyration: moving the pelvis in a circular motion so that the cock stirs around inside. This can be combined with deep and shallow penetration, and for variety change between clockwise and anticlockwise motion.

Bouncing in: using a spring mattress to enhance the thrusting, or take over from it completely; either by literally bouncing up and down or by pushing down on the mattress with your hands either side of the bottom’s body in order to bounce him onto the cock.

Jumping in: using gravity to enhance the in-thrust; similar to bouncing in but more forceful. For maximum effect, pull out as far as you can without coming out completely, and lift your feet up (by bending your knees) on the in-thrust so that you fall back into position.

Press-up: with the bottom lying flat on his front, assume the press-up position, then lower and raise your whole body. This works best when the actual penetration is the only point of contact between your body and his.

Positions

There are two basic positions for male intercourse:

1 - Rear entry - which includes missionary, in which the bottom is lying on his front and the top lies on top of him, and doggy style in which the bottom is on his hands and knees and the top is kneeling or standing on the floor with him on the bed. You can kiss if he arches his back slightly.

Fucking while standing can be tricky; if the bottom straightens too much while being fucked from behind (eg: up against a wall) your cock will slip out.

2 - Face-to-face – which includes the classic face-to-face position in which the bottom lies back and the top lifts his legs up. You can reach his balls, nipples and cock, and if you bend forward you can kiss him. You can also see his face and gauge how he is feeling. As you hold his legs or place his ankles on your shoulders he can wank himself.

If you have the strength to hold him up off the floor with his legs wrapped round your waist you can penetrate him but not fuck at all vigorously.

The Jackup is a variation of face to face in which you push the bottom’s legs back towards his head so that his torso is raised into a vertical or near-vertical position and his anus is pointing upwards. This position allows deeper penetration and is often intensely pleasurable for him because the angle of his body is pressing against the angle of your erection, increasing the pressure of your cockhead against his prostate.

You can easily change between the two rear entry positions, and between the two face-to-face positions, without pulling out. You can change between rear entry and face-to-face without pulling out, but not as easily!

A third basic position is halfway between face-to-face and rear entry; penetrating him while he lies on his side with you kneeling.

You can stabilise this by holding up his upper leg. A variation on this is for him to partially twist round while you fuck him from behind, drawing one leg up towards his chest. It helps if you hold this leg in place with your hand or knee, and then you can nibble on his nearest nipple, which you may not be able to reach in the face-to-face position. If he likes nipple stimulation, the bottom will LOVE this, especially if you can keep up a fuck rhythm at the same time (though you probably won't be able to fuck very vigorously in this position).

The bottom may have a favourite position, but most will like a bit of variety. If it's his first time be especially careful each time you penetrate him. If the fuck goes on for a long time, watch that the lube doesn't dry out, and consider changing the condom.

Enchancements

Most bottoms will masturbate themselves while being fucked; if you're feeling particularly gallant you might volunteer to take over this task and fuck him at the same time. It is certainly not uncommon for a bottom to cum from this double stimulation, however many guys will prefer to wank themselves as they get closer to orgasm, and take over at this point (obviously they know what to do better than anyone else!)

Most men like to be kissed when being fucked as it enhances the intimacy and closeness. Depending upon the position this can be all over the body, including the back, back of the neck, ears, calves and feet. Some like to be nibbled or even bitten but make sure he's into it first! Verbal stimulation can be a turn-on for the bottom, and this can be anything from telling him how beautiful he is to harsh words or shouting.

Different locations other than the bed can add some variety; the floor, the sofa, the kitchen, out of doors (watch you don't get arrested, though!).

Dominant

Many bottoms like a top to be 'dominant'/'masterful' or even a bit rough. You can introduce this and gauge from his reactions whether he likes it or not. This can be expressed as a firm, tight grip on the ankles (in the face-to-face position), thighs (when he's on top), arms (when lying on top of him) or hips (when fucking him doggy-style). When fucking while lying on top you can use a kind of wrestler hold by gripping him around the chest or putting your arms under his armpits and lacing your fingers across the back of his neck (Full Nelson). Any kind of restraint, as well as being a turn-on in itself, also prevents him from masturbating himself and perhaps coming too quickly, thereby prolonging the fuck. Being fucked naked by a fully-clothed top is another dominance fantasy.

Some guys like to be spanked while being fucked, which is easier in some positions than it is in others! Bondage is a major tonic for many, though it probably isn't a good idea for a virgin. More elaboate enhancements such as dildos, vibrators, nipple clamps, fetishes such as leather, rubber or uniforms, fantasy role play, etc. are also fairly common but you do need to establish that these are on the agenda BEFORE you start!


Sturdy

Topology : Part Two - Basics



BASICS

Safety

Being a top in male intercourse is very pleasurable and rewarding. It is also a role that requires consideration and sensitivity. You should regard being a top as a position of great responsibility.

The potential for mutual pleasure and satisfaction is boundless; physically, emotionally and spiritually. There is also potential for harm, however. A good top is a careful top! Until medical science makes a significant stride forward, human beings will always be the potential victims of sexually-transmitted infections. At best they can be annoying, like the non-specific infections that cause minor irritation. At worst, they can be fatal, such as hepatitis and HIV. If you're not prepared to be a responsible, adult man and use a condom every time you make love to a guy, you don't deserve the honour of even touching his butt!

It is important to use the right amount of (water-based) lubricant; this should be smeared all over your condom-covered cock and part way into the bottom's anus before you start. During intercourse it is important to check that the lube does not dry out too quickly; if it does ( usually the bottom will know because he'll be getting a bit 'raw'!) chuck on some more. If you fuck vigorously for a long time it is a good idea to change the condom. Some guys like to fuck, then rest for a while, then fuck again more than once before finishing. The condom will be getting gradually worn and stretched so have a few spares handy.

When you finish, don't pull out too quickly or the condom may come off while still inside the bottom. Reach down and hold the condom in place as you withdraw.

Know The Butt


Anal intercourse is not inherently harmful, but if done carelessly it can cause pain and possibly even injury, so it is important to proceed with care.

It helps to know a bit about the target area - bum, bottom, butt, ass, arse, khyber, posterior, derriere, etc. The part of the bum usually most visible is the buttocks, or gluteus maximus (buns, buttcheeks, etc.), the muscles that straighten the upper legs. In most people the buttocks are not particularly sensitive, though very light stimulation such as gentle carresses, or very intense stimulation such as spanking, can be pleasurable. The bum has been widely renowned as an erotic part of the body, and has been the focus of sexual attention in many cultures.

The anus (asshole, hoop, etc.) is an opening that is surrounded by a ring of muscle (the external sphincter) which relaxes to open and tightens to close. This muscle, which can be consciously tightened (clenched), also constricts the urethra, the tube within the penis through which urine and semen passes, and during orgasm it tightens and relaxes spasmodically. Directly beyond this is a second ring of muscle (the internal sphincter) which is not under conscious control. It only relaxes when pressure is exerted on it. The anus contains many nerve endings and is therefore very sensitive to stimulation; an erogenous zone overlooked by many people.

Prostate

The anus is roughly two inches long, and beyond this is the rectum, which is roughly six inches long. The rectum contains fewer nerve endings. Stimulation of the anus can produce pleasure or pain, but the rectum can only sense pressure.

Located in front of the rectum is the prostate gland, which produces secretions for seminal fluid. In some men, stimulation of the prostate is pleasurable, leading to it being branded the 'male G-spot'.

The anus, sphincters and prostate are all part of a densely intricate group of structures that includes the root of the penis, so it is not surprising that they play a part in sexual pleasure.

The anus can relax and dilate several centimetres (as it does when waste passes out), so a little stretching of the muscles is not only harmless, but totally normal and commonplace. The rectum is a cavity that does not need to stretch; at its far end it curves and is closed by another muscle, beyond which is the colon and the rest of the large intestine.

Care

Penetration of the anus and rectum is not something most people will be familiar with, and so it will feel unusual and probably uncomfortable the first time. If you penetrate a man too quickly straight away it will hurt him. The anal muscle will relax and stretch but it will take at least a few seconds, even for an experienced bottom. If it is the bottom's first time it will take at least several minutes. Once intercourse has begun, he can be usually be re-penetrated painlessly during the session (though with many men this is not true once he has cum.)

A virgin bottom may take a long time getting used to the feel of having a cock in him. Sometimes, however, he may be over-excited by the pleasurable sensations and the 'heat of the moment' and be insensitive to pain. It is possible to damage the anus during fucking if penetration is too quick and rough and the muscle does not relax quickly enough. If there is a tear in the skin of the anus there may be some blood, though usually he will not notice until later when he bleeds and/or feels pain when going to the toilet. This will normally heal given a few days abstinence as the tear is usually quite small; obviously if the bleeding or pain is great then medical assistance should be sought. Considering all of this, it may be a good idea not to get TOO passionate with a virgin; certainly try to slow down a bit when withdrawing and re-penetrating.

The main thing to remember is to start slow and gentle, to give his body time to adjust to yours, before you get too vigorous.

Some guys are more sensitive than others. Some may also have a sensitivity to the condoms and lube; if this seems to be the case then there are alternative brands available (see Sensitive Butts.)

Consideration

The bottom's feelings should be very important to you. Even if you're a cold, heartless scoundrel it's still in your best interests to give him a good time if you want him to come back for more! Generally speaking, the more pleasure you give him, the greater your satisfaction will be (and not just in terms of physical gratification).

Communication

You should both have a full understanding of what you want to happen. Communication is ESSENTIAL for good sex! Talk about what he wants. Listen to what he has to say. Make sure he is happy about being fucked and that his judgement is not impaired by drugs or alcohol so that he might be agreeing to something that he wouldn't normally feel comfortable about. This is a matter for your own conscience. The situation may be even less clear; for instance if you are giving him a place to stay for the night and he feels he owes you a favour by letting you fuck him. He has to really want it and really be ready; otherwise there may be resentment (and remorse, maybe?) later.

Relaxation

An experienced bottom can be fucked at a moment's notice, but a beginner will need to feel ready. Ideally he should be relaxed, physically and mentally. If you're the host it's your responsibility to set the scene: a comfortable room where you will not be disturbed or distracted for a long time. Whatever makes him feel relaxed will put him in the right frame of mind which is essential.

The main goal, from a purely mechanical point of view, is to help his anal muscle relax. Any kind of anxiety will make this more difficult, so he must start to wind down long before the main event. Slow down and take your time. A drink or two may help here, but not too many! It's ethically questionable to fuck someone who is so inebriated he doesn't know what's happening, and the consequences could be very serious; you might even be accused of rape. So be sensible.

Stimulation

The more turned-on the bottom is, the easier it will be for him to be penetrated. Pleasurable stimulation is also relaxing. Foreplay, therefore, is more than just a good idea; it's indispensable. Make him feel good - it's your job!

Sensual massage is a great way to simultaneously relax and stimulate a person. It is also good because it focusses on the whole body; this helps to gradually build the bottom's pleasure and excitement. Start with the upper body before moving onto the legs and then the buttocks, kneading them gently. You can progress slowly from general massage to stimulating his erogenous zones using your fingers and lips: his neck, earlobes, sides, thighs, nipples, balls and cock. Rimming is usually very pleasurable for the bottom; it also helps him to focus on the pleasure his anus can receive. The aroma of a clean male anus is a musk that many tops find stimulating.

Penetration

For a virgin bottom, a recommended position is the “passive superior” position – the top guy lies on his back and the bottom guy straddles him, gradually lowering himself onto the cock. This gives the bottom guy almost complete control over the penetration, so he takes it at his own pace. If he is not comfortable with this, though, you will have to take control in a different position. Some guys find it easier lying on their side.

Using water-based lubricant (ensure any massage oil has been towelled away from the butt), use the tip of your middle finger to gently play with his hole; very small circular motions to gently work the lube into the sensitive flesh. After a minute or so slowly push a little way inside. If he feels any discomfort at this point slow down and withdraw a little. Stimulate him somewhere else on his body; it is difficult to focus on pain and pleasure at the same time and it will help him to relax while his muscle gradually stretches. Use your mouth on his balls, nipples, cock... passionate kissing can have the same effect, of course! You might also suggest he starts to wank himself to increase his pleasure.

When he can comfortably take your whole finger leave it there for a while and continue to pleasure him in another way. After a minute or so SLOWLY insert a second finger along with the first, then leave them inside, moving gently. When he can take both for a few minutes he should be ready for your cock.

Resistance

Once the condom is in place and lubed, enter him slowly. The slowest possible penetration will be the easiest. Put your cockhead up against his hole and push just enough so that you can feel resistance, then hold position. Don't push any further yet; just maintain the minimum pressure and, after about a minute, you will feel the hole gradually stretch itself for you against the tip of your cock.

Push in slowly until your cockhead is fully engulfed. If the head of your cock is wider than the shaft the anus will tighten around the rim at this point, which feels delicious! The bottom may feel some discomfort at this point, though, so take it easy. The crucial thing here is for the bottom to get used to the feel of your cock going into him, so don't pull out unless he asks you to. Push in slowly until you are fully inserted. Then stay there, moving very slightly.

If the bottom is hurting and asks you to take it out, pull out up until the point where your cocktip is just 'nudging' his hole. When he's ready, start again slowly.

Sensations

Once he's comfortable with you fully inserted, you can start to fuck. Start off slowly and gently at first; he needs to get used to this too. He should be getting very stimulated by this point and look and sound very excited, though in some cases he may not have an erection. This does NOT mean he isn't enjoying himself; sometimes a man will lose his erection when being fucked because he is so focussed on the sensations in his butt.

The bottom guy's endurance - how long he can be fucked for - will vary. Some guys can take it for just a few minutes before becoming uncomfortable or sore, others seemingly have 'unlimited capacity' ("insatiable"? Though they seem to get their satisfaction!). This is an individual quality and there is no 'normal' level of bottom endurance.

Other factors that will effect this are poor lubrication, position (some guys will find some positions more comfortable than others) and discomfort from a too full stomach or bladder. Sometimes a fuck will put some pressure on the bladder and the guy might have to stop for a toilet break. This could be either because your cock is prodding it, and/or because of the motion (like the effect of vibrations from riding in a car has on some people's bladders!).

Keep track of his responses to try to see how much he is enjoying the fuck. This won't always be easy; moans/cries of pleasure can sometimes be very similar to those of discomfort. The same goes for facial expressions. Also, for some guys, the line between pleasure and pain when being fucked can be very fine - it hurts him a bit ... but he stil likes it.

Climax

There are four ways a fuck can end for the bottom: the bottom wanks himself until he cums; the top wanks him until he comes; the bottom comes without being wanked; he does not cum at all. All of these can occur while you are still fucking, when you have cum and stopped and are still inside him, when you have cum but carry on fucking, or when you have finished and pulled out.

In the majority of cases it will be the first option, usually when the bottom cannot take anymore pleasure and can hold back no longer. For the top to wank the bottom (while fucking him or while still inside him after the top has cum) is less common though the appeal is obvious. Some men can cum from the friction of being fucked face-down as the cock is rubbed against the bed; others can cum from nothing but the sensations of the fuck itself (this is a REAL compliment to the top, or at least it feels that way!).

Some guys also have 'dry' or 'internal' orgasms - the sensation of cumming but without ejaculation. This can happen more than once during a fuck, making it a kind of male multiple orgasm.

Bottom Erection

A man who loses his erection while being fucked may get it back near the end, or may not. To some this may seem frustrating, but some men are better able to concentrate on wanking without being fucked at the same time; for them the fucking is almost like foreplay. For some bottoms an orgasm is not important, at least not at the time.

Some people make a big deal out of timing. Synchronised orgasms can be very satisfying but they are not essential. The advantages are that if the bottom cums first he may then become aware of how sore he is before you can reach your climax, and ask you to stop (which can obviously be frustrating), and if you cum first you might go soft before he reaches his (which might be disappointing for him if he likes to feel a hard cock in him when he cums).

With practice it is usually possible for a top to control how much stimulation he gives himself by fucking; knowing when to hold back a little if he feels his excitement building too fast. If you can gain finer control over this, by nearly cumming and then pulling back from the brink a few times, you will be better able to hover near the point of no return and cum 'on cue' when the bottom is ready.

If synchronisation is too difficult, it is usually best for the bottom to cum first. The anal spasms as he reaches and then experiences his climax will often trigger the top. If not, it is a pleasant sensation anyway. Next time you can cum first. What a gent!

Afterglow

This is a very important point. Being fucked is often a very emotional experience for a man. You could hurt his feelings if you don't show him some affection afterwards. Put your arms round him and lay his head on your chest. You can lovingly stroke his beautiful butt as you both drift off into blissful dreamy sleep . . .


Sturdy

Topology: Part One - Being a Top



Being a Top

First, a word or two on what it’s all about. We’re talking about male intercourse, also known as anal intercourse, anal sex, doing it up the bum, bumsex, buttfucking, making love, etc. etc. There is as much confusion and mythology about this as there is reliable information. It’s a common misconception, for instance, that this is something which ALL gay men do. In fact, a very large percentage of gay men do not like it at all, and are quite happy doing without it. No-one should ever be made to feel that he HAS to do it if he does not want to, or that he is in some way ‘incomplete’ for not wanting it. Many male couples have a happy, fulfilling sex life that does not involve penetration.

Likewise, it’s something that some straight couples also do, either the man penetrating the woman’s anus, and/or toys (eg: dildos, vibrators) being used on him or her. Some people think that if a man enjoys being penetrated it must mean he is gay or bisexual, but just because he enjoys a particular kind of sensation this does not say anything about him being attracted to men or women.

Role

For gay men who do enjoy anal sex, there is the question of which role they prefer. If a man prefers to be penetrated he is described as ‘passive’ or ‘bottom’ (or a bottom); if he prefers to penetrate someone else he is described as ‘active’ or ‘top’ (or a top). The terms 'top' and 'bottom' originate from the USA, and since the 1990s have become widely used in Britain, where 'active' and 'passive' were the original terms. If he likes both he is versatile, and this seems to generally represent the majority.

Some guys go through phases where they will prefer a different role at a different time, or prefer different roles with different men (eg: they like to bottom for older, bigger or more masculine guys and prefer to top younger guys).

Anecdotal evidence suggests that more men prefer the bottom role to the top role, and for this reason a guy who is predominantly bottom and looking for a sexual partner will often describe himself as versatile in order to hedge his bets - he would rather bottom than top, but would rather top than have nothing at all.

A lot of men don’t like to use these labels at all because they can be too restricting and do not reflect reality for them, but for others they work OK as a general rule of thumb.

Signals


During the 1970s in the USA many gay men used to signify their role by wearing a handkerchief/bandana in the back pocket of their jeans. On the right hand side it meant the guy was bottom, on the left it meant he was a top. This system was adapted slightly, replacing the hankie with a key ring or chain clipped to the right or left belt loop, but this little tradition really only survives today amongst the leather/BDSM (bondage/domination/sadomasochism) crowd who also use different coloured hankies or bandanas to denote different sexual interests (navy blue standing for fucking), or a leather band on the right or left upper arm.

There are misconceptions about what different roles mean, even among gay men who really ought to know better. It is often assumed that a masculine gay man (in appearance and/or behaviour) will always be a top, and a camp or effeminate man will always be a bottom, but this is misleading. The majority of gay men do not have any stereotypically gay mannerisms and the anecdotal evidence suggests that there are more bottoms than tops out there. Most gay men who like penetration are therefore masculine bottoms (or masculine and versatile, but with a preference for the bottom role).

There is, in some circles, an attitude that bottoms are in some way inferior to tops; that being a top makes you more of a “man” and therefore more desirable. This is based on ignorance, homophobia and good old-fashioned sexism. The kind of person who thinks this way will often be the same one who looks down his nose at guys for being camp and thinks he is better than they are because he is “straight-acting”.

Arrogant

Some guys also have a problem with anyone who describes himself as being 100% top, accusing him of being arrogant, repressed, “hung up on his masculinity” or a liar (because for a gay man to be totally active is just too good to be true, therefore impossible). Often they will say that tops are lying to themselves and can’t wait to bottom, but they don’t seem to believe that the reverse is true of bottom guys. This shows that the same basic prejudice underlies the attitudes faced by both bottoms and tops.

For some people, being a 100% top is considered to be undesireable because the act of penetration symbolises oppression of women and non-white races, because historically it has been used as a form of dominance, invasion and rape. According to this point of view, only versatility (or non-penetrative sex) is ethically acceptable. It is not a very widely held viewpoint nowadays; it was more popular during the post-feminist 1980s.

Outside the West, there are other cultures that place anal sex in a much stricter context. Among men of Latino, Arabic, Native American and Indian cultures the role the man chooses in anal intercourse is a significant part of his sexual identity. A penetrator is regarded as being in the masculine role; usually he is not even considered homosexual and wil be married with children. The one who is penetrated is regarded as being in the female role and is likely to have effeminate mannerisms or even be transgender. None of them are versatile ... or, at least, they are not supposed to be ... This viewpoint is reflected, to a lesser extent, among men from backgrounds where they are encouraged to be 'macho'.

It’s useful to be aware of all this and to try and be sensitive and respectful. In the following notes I will use the terms ‘top’ and ‘bottom’ as if the participants are both 100% in their respective roles, although this will of course not always be the case, but for the sake of simplicity it works in this instance. A lot of guys do have a definite preference, and a virgin bottom will often seek out a more experienced top to ‘initiate’ him. This guide is for the top, who has certain responsibilities when it comes to his role, particularly if his partner is inexperienced.

Respect The Bottom!

It is important to have the right attitude towards bottom guys because there can be a lot of negative stigma attached to the bottom role – all of it harmful nonsense! One attitude that crops up now and then is that being a bottom is less masculine or even feminine, terms which are themselves imprecise at the best of times. This can be countered in two ways: one is by rejecting fundamentally meaningless concepts such as ‘masculinity’ and ‘femininity’ as being irrelevant to male-only sex, the other is to recognize that bottoming does in fact require qualities that are traditionally considered masculine: a guy who enjoys being penetrated is a man who has the courage to let another man inside his body, the strength to overcome any physical or emotional discomfort it might entail, the conviction to be his own man sexually despite the possibility of people thinking him 'less of a man' for taking it up the bum.

Bottoming is masculine, maybe in a more subtle way than being a top, but it is still a role that is 100% male. Unless the guy is also submissive, it has nothing to do with being ‘weak’ or ‘yielding’ – tops and bottoms are equal. The terms ‘bottom’ and ‘passive’ can be misleading. Sometimes you will hear a guy say something like “I’m an active bottom! I don’t just lie there like a wet lettuce!” meaning that he is an enthusiastic, energetic participant and will ride your knob like a hyperactive kid on a bouncy castle.

Some guys see this as being better than “passive bottoms” (who just lie there letting you do all the work), with the implication that these passive bottoms are lazy or selfish, or just not very good at bottoming, but this is unfair. Not everyone can bottom easily; the guy you top could be working hard just to relax enough to take the cock, or he may be so overwhelmed by the pleasure (or pleasure/pain mix) that he is just lost in sensation, and you should feel privileged that you can give him that.

Sturdy