PERFORMANCE
A good top also needs physical qualities to ensure he does a good job... Potency, Endurance and Stamina
Potency
Potency is the ability to achieve and maintain an erection for as long as is desirable. Erection occurs involuntarily, as the result of stimulation – direct physical stimulation, psychological stimulation, or a combination of both. It can be induced but not forced.
Usually, the erection will last until ejaculation, whereupon the penis will go soft. Further stimulation will have no effect because the body will have entered the “refactory period” where the nervous system needs time to recover before another erection can be achieved. This recoverey period will vary from man to man; there is no ‘normal’ length of time. With the right mix of relaxation, partner compatibility and physical/psychological stimulation (“chemistry”) the recovery time may be shorter than usual.
Some men can get it up and go again soon afterwards, and then a third time, maybe a fourth, etc. but again this is a matter of individual variation. If once in a night is enough for you, that is not a problem. It is important not to try to live up to unrealistic expectations, especially if they are based on pornography … video editing creates the illusion of superhuman studs who can fuck, shoot and then stay hard (or get hard again, instantly) and go a few times more, all in the space of about twenty minutes. Real sex takes longer, which is not a bad thing at all! Savour the moment; you’re not in the Whacky Races…
Performance anxiety
There are various things that can inhibit erection, the most common cause being anxiety. Feeling worried, nervous, uncomfortable, unhappy, preoccupied, etc. can prevent or kill an erection. It can be an overwhelming feeling or just a little nagging at the back of the mind, but the result will be the same. ‘Performance anxiety’ is a specific cause of erectile dysfunction (“impotence”), a vicious circle in which the man’s fear of disappointing his partner becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ideally, the man should feel relaxed as well as stimulated. It may help if the sex is not too rushed; foreplay and, preceding that, some ‘getting to know you’ time so that both partners feel at ease with each other.
Other sources of anxiety may be related to negative feelings about sex such as shame or guilt, feeling that sex is “dirty”, or associating sex with violence or abuse. This type of anxiety may require counselling, or just a very patient and supportive partner. Depression is another cause of general sexual dysfunction, often including a lack of basic interest in sex.
Exhaustion
There may be physical causes of impotence, the most common being too much alcohol (“brewer’s droop”); some recreational drugs can have the same effect. Smoking impairs general health and fitness, affecting circulation, which is vital for potency. Tiredness can also impair function, and it can be physical and/or mental exhaustion from too much work, stress, or insufficient rest, relaxation or sleep. Other causes are general illness and poor health/fitness, such as being badly overweight.
There are medical conditions which can impair erection, which can be ruled out if the man can achieve erections whilst alone, and naturally when waking up (“morning glory”). If a medical problem is suspected, professional help should be sought without delay, either from a GP or via a GUM clinic.
Some guys have a problem with condoms; everything is fine until they pop one on (or stop in order to rubber up) and then the erection is lost. This can be a physical problem; the condom may be too small and therefore too tight, so it will ‘deflate’ the cock by squeezing the blood out of it back into the body. The best way to combat this is to try a variety of condoms, maybe even a Femidom (a polyurethane bag used as a ‘female condom’ by women which is inserted before penetration).
Eliminate fumbling
It can be a psychological problem as well; the simple distraction of having to stop and put on a rubber can be enough to cause the erection to be lost. If this is the case, then it may help to get used to putting it on quickly and smoothly. It may also be useful to set things up in advance to speed up the process of getting rubbered up, lubed up and into the guy’s bum; make sure the condoms and lube are in easy reach and take the rubbers out of the packet already so as to eliminate fumbling. If you have lubed fingers it can be difficult to tear open a condom packet or a sachet of lube, so open them in advance, or at least make a small tear in the packet/sachet so it can be more easily opened at the crucial moment.
Some guys use artificial aids to maintain an erection. One old method is constriction, using something tight around the base of the cock and balls to trap blood inside the cock, keeping it hard. This can be a cockring, usually made of steel or rubber, though they can come in the form of a leather strap with studs so that it can be fitted and removed. It is very important not to use anything that cannot be safely removed, such as thin cord, as long-term restriction of the blood vessels can cause permanent damage.
Viagra is a prescription drug for treating physical impotence. Somemen use it to ‘ehance’ sex, though strictly speaking it is not an aphrodisiac; it does not induce an erection, it only helps maintain an erection once it has been achieved. As it is still a relatively new drug, the long-term side effects are not known, especially in men who do NOT actually have a physical problem with erection; it may even have the reverse effect long term because of interfering with body chemistry.
NOTE: It is VERY important not to ever use Viagra at the same time as Poppers (amyl nitrate etc.) as both drugs lower the blood pressure, and the combination can be FATAL.
Endurance
Endurance in this context refers to how long the top can fuck without cumming. If he can fuck for a satisfactorily long time without cumming, he can be said to have good endurance, and if he cannot he has poor endurance. Very poor endurance is the recognised sexual problem premature ejaculation. Of course, all this is relative, not everyone wants to fuck (or be fucked) for hours on end, so if five minutes is satisfactory then there is no need to view this endurance as a problem at all.
For those who would like to prolong a fuck, however, there are various methods the top can use. The first method is to reduce stimulation, and this is usually achieved by reducing speed. Some tops will start fucking and continue to increase the speed and force of their thrusts until climax, which naturally will be achieved in the minimal amount of time. Varying speed will prolong the fuck and allow you to recognise when you are reaching the point of no return (PONR) at which point ejaculation is imminent. You can then slow down or stop until stimulation subsides to a level at which you can continue safely.
If you have trouble recognising the PONR you can practice by yourself when you masturbate. See how long you can wank without cumming; when you feel yourself getting close to climax, slow down or stop. Then start again and repeat the process several times. You will become more sensitive to your own physical reactions and better at keeping your stimulation at the right level in order to delay climax. This is basic sexual endurance training for a top.
Partial ejaculation
Stopping or slowing right before the PONR may prevent the climax or it may cause a partial ejaculation; you will feel some spunk escape and may feel some pleasure but the full amount of spunk will not be released, the sensation is less intense than a full climax and – most importantly – the erection is not lost. At this point you can then stop or continue and climax normally, probably very soon if so desired.
Taking a break is also a good method of prolonging the fuck. You can cool down while pleasuring the bottom guy in other ways. You may find that changing position and/or technique will also help, if different variations provide less stimulation.
Another way to increase endurance is to reduce the initial sensitivity. One way of doing this is to use a thicker condom (wearing two, one on top of the other, is not advisable because they can break if they rub against each other). You can also exploit the male body’s own refactory period. The natural insensitivity that follows ejaculation and inhibits subsequent stimulation until a certain period of time has passed (which varies but is often around 30 minutes). You can do this by ejaculating 30-60 minutes before the fuck; more stimulation (more time fucking) will be required to reach climax. This can take the form of solo preparation before meeting the bottom guy, or it can be worked into the session as a whole if the bottom guy is amenable; the top’s first ejaculation can be quick, short and sweet, and then you have a break before the ‘Main Event’. There is no need to think of 'poor' endurance as being a problem at all.
Stamina
Stamina in this context refers to how long the top can fuck without getting tired. Fucking uses all the major muscle groups and is an aerobic activity; muscular action fuelled by oxygen which the heart must deliver to the muscles via the bloodstream. This is a matter of general fitness, and if you take regular exercise (which you should anyway, for your general health) this should be sufficient.
If you want to increase your fitness then any aerobic activity will help with this – walking, running, swimming, sport, even using stairs instead of escalators or elevators. The aim is to strengthen the heart, which is basically a muscular pump, and even a moderate increase in physical activity will have significant benefits.
Fucking itself, is, of course, excellent cardio-vascular exercise! The recommended minimum exercise is 30 minutes, three times a week, but the more you do, the fitter you will be. As a general rule of thumb, you can monitor your fitness level by taking your resting pulse rate. Do this when you are totally relaxed, ideally before you get out of bed in the morning. The normal adult pulse rate is between 60 and 80 beats per minute. If it is much higher than this, this is a sign of a weak heart that has to pump faster to get oxygenated blood around the body to the muscles and organs. Generally, the lower the resting pulse rate, the stronger the heart is; many sportsmen have RPRs in the 50s or even lower.
Workout
A general workout of all the major muscle groups will also improve your performance; fucking uses not just the hips but also the back, legs, arms and chest. Press-ups are good for strengthening all of these if done correctly - keep your back straight!
Flexibility is also important, in fucking as it is in exercise, and a little gentle stretching before and after any strenuous activity will also help prevent minor injuries. Plus, the more flexible you are, the more comfortable you will be fucking in different positions
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Good health - eating the right foods, getting regular exercise, getting enough sleep, avoiding stress, avoiding drugs - will contribute to your performance, as well as your general wellbeing.
Not only will you fuck better and longer, you'll LIVE better and longer!
Ultimately, being a 'good top' is not about conforming to any model or standard or following a manual, it is all about how you and the bottom work together. If you are both happy with your sex life there is no need to make any adjustments - if it's not broken, there's no need to fix it.
Look after yourself, respect the bottom, maintain good communication and you will be on TOP form!
Sturdy
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